Somehow I missed uploading my last update. Probably due to the fact that work has been more than crazy, it has been nuts! I am very tempted to actually create a twitter account just to list off all the crazy things that come out of my boss’ mouth. Then I think, hmm, do I want to pay the consequences if I was ever found out? Nooo…
So not a risk taker :[ .
In the actual news I need to post. Last week I lost 4 lbs. Shocking and exciting. This week I lost 1 lb. And honestly, that has to have been my favorite pound so far to say goodbye to. I am over the moon about losing just one pound this week. You want to know why?
I HAVE LOST FIFTY POUNDS!
Yessir, yes ma’am! 50 lbs just GONE! I am so excited I could run around screaming it out. I feel absolutely gorgeous!
This means I am officially halfway to the goal I set myself over four months ago!
To gain some perspective of my accomplishment:
- 112 days. It took me 112 days to lose 50 lbs. That is 17 weeks. Which equals juuuust under 3 lbs a week.
- I have been on more diets than I can recall, but I know for a fact that I have NEVER lost 50 lbs.
- I wanted to lose 35 lbs before my vacation, my vacation is in 11 days, I kicked that goals ass!
- I am 3/4 of the way to Onederland
I have read through nearly every post on my blog and have realized what a journey this truly is. I want to cry.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I am someone who let my weight define me. At times I still do… but there was a time where every other thought in my head was “I am fat.” “He/She must think I am disgusting.” “I wonder if they think less of me because of my weight.” etc. etc. I was always so harsh on myself. Well, apparently doing something about it and succeeding it curing this.
There have been times in my past where I was literally depressed. Diagnosed, medicated… in therapy. I never talked about my weight though. I talked about my family, my friends, my stress… but never about my weight. Now I think, wow… maybe the reason therapy and medication didn’t work for me was because I wasn’t focusing on the right issue. I was always so terrified to blame my weight for my state of mind. It was a taboo subject, one that I was very defensive of. Now, as I get lighter, as I eat healthier, suddenly the studies that claim “Hey, eat right and you will feel happy.” sound legitimate.
Has eating healthy fixed everything? No. I still have OCD Anxiety. I always will. And I will probably always be at risk for depression, seeing as I have had it several times in the past. When I started my diet, I was NOT depressed (just want to make that clear). In fact, since before Patrick and I got together, I have probably been the most happy I have ever been. However, now I am even happier. Something I didn’t think possible.
I also would like to mention that I had several health issues before. Things I tended to try and ignore and pretend didn’t exist.
- One was my intolerances. I ignored the fact that my body could not digest corn, didn’t really like it when I had more milk than like a tablespoon and reacted unfavorably to overly greasy foods. I never really felt good. My stomach always hurt. It was a part of my routine. I would have stomach cramps every.single.day. and I would just brush them off. Past Mere, that isn’t normal! As I started my new lifestyle, I began to cut things out. Corn was the first step. No more corn, period. This included Corn Syrup, so no more sodas. This was followed by cutting out milk, save for a little half and half in my coffee. My everyday stomach cramps suddenly ceased to exist. Then I cut out jalapenos. Now THAT was hard. I love spicy food… and I seem to still be able to have it, but not jalapenos. Why? Who the hell knows. I was able to cut it out by noticing a pattern. When I stopped eating them, I felt better. So I am not going back.
- My leg used to have this random,jolting cramp. It hurt. Maybe spasm is a better word. It felt like a lightning bolt down the back of my thigh muscle. Sometimes it would stop instantly, sometimes it would go for a bit. It has only happened once since I started the new lifestyle.
- My knee hurt. Like … a lot of the time. It was an ache, that literally felt like it was in the bone. I couldn’t stretch it. Rubbing it didn’t help. I have hurt my knees more than once, including falling on them hard on pebbled concrete. I also used to get the same ache when I was a delivery driver (I tuck my leg under my seat when I drive). I thought ‘Okay, this is not weight, this is me having hurt this knee so often’. Well, it doesn’t do it anymore. It is gone.
- I used to get random pains in my chest (no, not heart pains, I believe they were gas pains). They have stopped.
- I used to have such bad cramps, I would pass out during my ‘time of the month’. Those have improved.
- I used to have foot pain every other week. That isn’t happening anymore.
- One of the BIGGEST issues was my back. Now, this has been happening since I got breasts. My breasts are not small. Have they shrunk since I lost weight? A little, but they are still big proportionally. But , my back doesn’t hurt anymore .I am not near tears by the end of the day. I even forget to take my bra off until I am laying down in my bed. Like, seriously? This is one of the BEST improvements.
My life, is just so overall better. All because of 50 lbs. What will it be like when I reach 100?
What is more, with my mental health improving just as much as my physical, suddenly I feel like I could handle going back to school. I initially left school because of my depression and anxiety. Now, I feel I could conquer anything! I could get my Associates in Accounting… HELL , maybe I should go all the way and get a Bachelors!
Novel set aside…
I am really happy… and I wouldn’t be here without Patrick… and while I am only halfway there, I know I will make it to the end. ❤