And when I say this “week”, I mean since Monday the 12th, seeing as I haven’t gotten one day to myself since. And I know mothers out there will say “Uhm, try that everyday.”
Well, I am not a mom. I haven’t taken that step yet. I am going to complain, haha.
Patrick’s grandmother passed away Wednesday. Which was also my first evening for WM. Then Thursday was a play we had promised we would attend, but I had to squeeze a trip to the city to get an outfit for the funeral. Friday was filled of rapid packing. Saturday we drove several hours away to attend the funeral. Sunday we headed home, only for the car to BREAK DOWN in the middle of nowhere. Monday my Grandfather ended up in the hospital, which meant working while stressed/worried, leaving to visit him, then squeezing in a visit to several stores to try and find stuff for the trip. Yesterday I worked, worried about the trip with my grandfather in the hospital, got confirmation that he is going to be okay (thank the LORD), had my nails and feet done, went shopping for cleaning supplies (was running low), cleaned from top to bottom and every little corner of my house and I packed. I got four hours of sleep people. FOUR . Today is my second evening for WM, followed by a nearly midnight trip to the grocery store.
Did I mention my life has been turned upside down?
I honestly cannot wait for tomorrow and not just because it is a trip… but because I will have a second to BREATHE.
Adulthood is hard.
Did I mention that I lost 4 pounds last week? Well if I didn’t, I will reiterate. 4 pounds. I am now 54 pounds down. It is surreal. I hope I don’t slip up during the vacation! The truth is, I am not going for weight loss while away. I am going for stagnation. Because I am going to be drinking. A lot. I miss alcohol so much. And I want some fried food. Not a lot. I am terrified I will make myself sick (You know, other than the hangovers…).
My plan so far is, light breakfast (I will be making eggs and bacon, eggs and sausage, etc.) . Light lunch (I have sandwich stuff I will pack. I am thinking that really, I just need a small sandwich with a good amount of meat). And for dinner? Well we will be going out every evening. I plan on getting good food. One night fried. One night Cajun. Etc. Etc. And you know what? Fuck guilt. Because I haven’t done this in, well, what feels like forever.
That being said, I don’t want to lose weight, but I also don’t want to gain. And if that means that when I get back, I do a lot of cardio paired with very strict dieting before Friday- well, my vacation is over Monday evening. So okay. Nothing new.
On some very selfish notes:
Patrick’s mother is an amazing woman who told me I was a part of her family when I was at the funeral. It tugged on my heart strings.
No one has been commenting on my most recent weight loss and gosh damn! I bought two new dresses and looked AMAZING when I wore them in the past two weeks… oh well.
I really feel frustrated over how busy my life is right now, and I know I just need to get over it.
I am also very tired of customers chewing me out for things I cannot control. I am a VERY polite person. I am extremely cheery, and I will do anything I can to remedy an issue. And you are cussing me out because of something the owner did? That is like cussing out the cashier at a fast food place because you don’t like the price. The cashier has NO control over that. Fuck you.
And then to my boss. Can you PLEASE stop pissing people off? Like. Right now. If you wouldn’t mind. God damnit.